We are going to pretend (or at least I am) that it is a beautiful Monday morning, my day off, birds chirping, sipping on my iced coffee as I write this, to tell you about the most amazingly delicious brunch that I just had.
Because life gets crazy busy and I’m good at procrastinating. In reality, I’m writing this a week later, on a Thursday night.
I wish I had that iced coffee…
Anyways, I would like to introduce you to Angry Pancake:
She says hello.
Not because she’s a pancake though…
Let me explain…
My friend, Aron recently took a look at my blog.
After I said, “Hey, Aron, tonight, when you get a chance, check out my food blog!”
Not because it or I am famous or anything.
He then sent me a message, which went like this:
I checked out your blog over the weekend, A+.
Some of the content was pretty intense, deep and lots of metaphors (or at least how I was reading/interpreting the content).
I LIKE CATS!
Did you invent this food therapy?
Do you just make these dishes when you get angry or stressed?
Is there like a guide that you follow to help you make things that fit your dilemma?
Does your husband ever say things like, “I can really taste your emotions in this dish”?
Do you get angry and then look up a recipe and make angry pancakes while rawr-ing?
So besides that absolutely making my day, I really thought about it.
…and thought about it.
I was up to the challenge to attempt to answer Aron’s questions (I realize that I ramble, so this may be difficult and confusing!)
and was thrilled to create this adorable, but feisty, Angry Pancake.
I am sure that I am not the first person to use the phrase Food Therapy, but I felt the name fit perfectly for what it really was.
Aron, I’m always stressed. I was born stressed. I think it’s a good sort of stress these days though!
As you may know, if you have been following my blog (thank you! I’m flattered!), I started it as a newlywed who combined two new hobbies, cooking and food photography. At the time, I worked on the night shift and I think this helped me to stay connected to the world in some way. For example, I had the pleasure of “meeting” some sweet foodies out there, and reading their blogs which I enjoy (although we lost touch there when I took a little break!)
Also, I admit, I used it to vent sometimes…I love to write.
As I kept writing, I liked the idea of this as a time capsule, a diary of not only what I learned about cooking along the way, the techniques and the dishes that I somehow was able to create, but the events surrounding them, holidays and good times with my husband, family, friends, etc.
Some of the time, I used this as a medium in which to talk through issues that I was dealing with while going through the wonderfully described slew of emotions known as as the “quarter life crisis”.
I’ve written posts during the very best and worst parts of the last year, and I don’t think the food has had anything to do with it, except it’s something I think we have in common. I mean, these days, who isn’t a foodie?!
However, I’m thinking that maybe somewhere out there, there’s someone who is going through the same thing as me, or is feeling the same way or knows someone who is feeling this way and can feel like they’re not alone.
I like to think that if we do relate, that this can be therapy for you too. You’re not alone, trust me.
While I’m being emotional, this is a good time to talk about the correlation between foods and moods! I usually don’t seek out “angry foods”, but making a rawr-ing, angry food was quite fun!
I usually decide to make something because I read it in a magazine, saw it on the food network (I hoard cooking shows until my DVR is full) or read it in the Pioneer Woman’s blogs. It’s usually something I’m currently craving at the moment. I don’t think I’ve ever craved pancakes…but I crave sugar (usually a chocolate chip cookie) when I’m tired (there’s science behind that!)
I always crave coffee, a venti, extra ice, unsweetened iced coffee from Starbucks with cream and a shake of vanilla powder to get technical…but it’s my life line, my IV drip. Chocolate is another big one.
Lately I have been craving Greek salads with extra feta cheese and fizzy drinks. What my cravings say about me? I don’t want to know.
As for my husband, I can imagine him saying something along those silly lines, and I’m sure he has tasted the emotion in my cooking. Luckily we have very similar tastes in food and over the past decade, I’m impressed by the maturing of Thomas’ palate…he’s not too picky of an eater, unless it’s tomatoes (besides roma) olives, V8 or most fish and shellfish…my loves, of course. ;)
I’m sure he doesn’t enjoy the clean up. I like to refer to my messy kitchen afterwards as an abstract piece.
I do know that he has supported me in and out of the kitchen, through the thick and thin and everywhere in between. He’s my middle school sweetheart and best friend. Even when I fear I over or under salted, burnt the edges there or switched an ingredient up, he has thoroughly enjoyed every bite.
It makes me blush.
Sorry, I got side tracked. If you were to ask me if I premeditate what the post is going to be about when I decide on the menu, I would say actually, it’s the opposite.
I choose the food, I photograph it, and when I sit down to write, whatever I feel, or whatever mood I am in, usually, comes through.
So what I’m saying is, I could photograph a greasy, delicious mess of a cheeseburger and probably end up telling you how great and healthy I am feeling lately now that I sleep at night (yay!). Who knows with me.
What perfect timing, really, to think about all of this, because it is almost Food Therapy’s 1 Year Anniversary!
I am sure that my blog has changed with each week, month, post, because I have gone through changes, many big changes, but just like anyone, you grow and just like with anything, you develop.
There’s something to be said for the quarter life crisis itself…it’s scary but maybe it’s like a right of passage. These tough experiences, the unknown, make us who we are.
I’m positive that even though, I suspect the end is near, I’m still going through it.
I think this blog is an example of that crisis, the changes, visually and emotionally.
Besides the anniversary, my birthday is coming up. I think I’m going to remember turning 25 as the year that I became me, and it’s appropriate. I became the love me, hate me, take me as I am, “the leading lady of my own life”, me.
Don’t get me wrong, I am still my awkward, unsure of myself, self, but come on girls, aren’t we all? help me out a little bit, here? ;)
But, in order to keep it good, I’ve made some changes…one being where my focus lies. For the first time, I think ever, I feel focused on what I’m doing with my life at the moment. It was a new years resolution.
At the end of the day, before falling asleep, thinking about everything and anything, I want to think that today I did my best, I gave it my all, I worked hard, I lived and I loved.
I’m focusing on the good, the important. Pretty much avoiding negativity, drama, and nonsense. It’s not worth it. I think you’re entitled to feel that way, eventually.
I think it’s called being an adult.
I want to look back at 25, and think, damn, that was a good year.
Me, angry? Why would I be angry? It’s the pancake…she’s angry.
Quite frankly, I told you in the beginning that without good reason, I feel “dark and twisty”, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt happier, more alive, or more me than recently.
I hope that if you’re reading, and you too, are going through this quarter life crisis, I hope that you can say the same.
If not, my advice, is to hang in there. In the meantime, it’s okay to fear the unknown and to go through the emotions.
Even an angry pancake can become not so angry…it can actually become quite happy and lovely.
Who knew the angry pancake, at heart, had a buttery, ooey gooey, “bright and shiny” center?
It seems like right before the moment you tumble desperately into despair and confusion, the clouds open and the sun shines through and all that. Just wait. It’s coming. Things will start to make sense.
Find something you love to do, work on it, work towards it, be a strong, independent young adult, take chances, be brave, be someone you are proud of, don’t forget about the people you love.
Don’t be afraid to save yourself, don’t change, just grow.
Oh and here’s the recipe:
(Between you and me, I used Disaronno instead of cherry brandy because we couldn’t find it on a Sunday night. I’m not surprised by this.)
This is dedicated to the wonderful, new people in my life and my mom for finding the PERFECT recipe.